I was talking to a very good friend recently, and I shocked myself when I said “We are beginning to feel stable”, referring to my husband and I. My very next thought was “Thank you God”. Not because that is what I’m supposed to say, but because that is how I actually feel. It is only by the grace of God!.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 says “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
For longest time we were operating in the “on my own” mentality. Even though we were married, we did not stand in solidarity. He had his own friends, made his own decisions, did his thing. I was in my own world doing the exact same thing. We did not stand as 2 people together as one. So whatever attacks came against our union were able to overpower us. We had no game plan, no fighting stance, no armor, no nothing. How awful we must have made Christ feel. For two people to profess Christ, yet live so contrary to His will, to have our lifestyles turn people off of Christianity instead of leading them to salvation. Our individual lives were not pleasing and then our marriage became an even bigger insult. Ephesians 4:29-32 says “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” There was nothing in our marriage that would build others up. We were both full of the negative things the passage lists. We were not kind and I have share with you my lack of forgiveness (Husband suffers from this as well, just not as intensely). We truly grieved the Holy Spirit. When I realized this I literally held my head in shame. I’ve spoken in the past about how Christian marriages need to be a testimony or an example of Christ relationship of the church, so that the world may see God’s love and Christ sacrifice. And I’ve admitted that my marriage failed miserably. But Ephesians 4:29-32 takes on a whole new meaning.
Thank God for His redemption power. Now, my husband does not hesitate to pray. With me, for me…about me, lol. Let me tell you, prayer makes a difference! Prayer changes things! There is an obvious strength in his relationship with Him. And my obvious strength in Christ is evident to him as well. Because how we handle things is totally different. We show our love for each other and not our disdain. That is not to say we get this marriage thing 100% correct every time. In fact just recently we had a messy week. You know the week, where one argument turns into something else and you never really get to what’s bothering you in the first place. By day three, you’re looking back at day one thinking “If only YOU had done xyz then we wouldn’t be having this issue! Why can’t you read my mind?! Do you not love me?!” Everything we had learned in our marriage class was battling with every way that we used to argue. But each day (except one), we still started our day off in prayer! For us that is major progress. The initial argument let me know that there was a problem. The length of the argument let me know we had more work to do. But the prayer each morning let me know the third chord, God, is going to get the glory!
One thing that the husband prayed during that week was that our love for God has to be greater than our love for each other. That’s because our love for God is going to keep us when we want to stray, sin, destroy our marriage, etc. The only way to feel that kind of love, security, the only way to increase your dedication to ‘for better or worse’ is to invite God to be that third chord. He’s such a gentleman, He won’t bully and bogaurd his way into your marriage. He loves us enough to allow things to happen in our marriage so that we are reminded that we need Him. And He is such a savior that He will mend the broken pieces in just a way that restoration is not only possible, but necessary and attainable through Him. Your latter marriage will be better than your former, like a complete transformation. He is so faithful, that your faith increases and you have to tell somebody, so you create a blog to tell everybody, so that your testimony will encourage someone else. :-)
It’s funny how this blog came together because as usual I was all set to write about something else. After I was finished this one I was leery of posting it. Because by now I know the drill. The enemy is just as aware of this blog as Heaven is, and I (and/or my marriage) always seem to get attacked right after giving God the praise and glory that I owe Him. But Duh! I can always look at and rely on the third chord, because with Him, my marriage is not easily broken. By now the enemy should know the drill as well. We will be tested but we won’t be broken. Romans 8:28-31 says “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us”. Amen!
Write ya later! :-)